If you’ve noticed it’s been a little quiet around here, it’s for good reason. I spent much of the month of August back East, at the Jersey Shore, where I reunited with friends and family for a mostly relaxing, sometimes raucous two week vacation.

I can assure you it was anything but quiet there.

It’s not too often that my triplet sisters and I get to spend time together. But when we do, we tend to make the most of it.

One evening during that first week, between glasses of Lillet Blanc and Rosé, we sat down with our mom and starting sorting through a collection of pictures recently discovered in her storage closet.

For your viewing pleasure, I’ve included a candid video of the madness, shot by my sister-in-law, and an accompanying transcript.

Bwahahahaha! Yeah right! Like I’d take the time to transcribe this shit-show. (No transcript could do this little gem justice anyhow.)

So if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be a a triplet … you’re so going to want to watch the video!

In case you don’t have time to tune in, or you can’t understand what the hell we’re saying, here are the top seven highlights:

1     Robyn and I can’t tell ourselves apart in baby/childhood pictures.


2    This is in large part due to the fact that we are identical and my one recognizable trait, a strawberry birthmark which has since disappeared, was suspiciously hardly ever photographed.

3    My mom tries to pretend like she can tell us apart but she really has no fucking clue. She even mislabeled a bunch of the pictures. (I bet we even got mixed up along the way. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I also answer to the name “Robyn.” Why do you think Jill Robyn is giving her the middle finger in this picture.) 

4   Our other triplet, Courtney, is the only one in the world who can actually tell us apart. Sometimes. 

5   I had a peculiar affinity for mustard yellow clothing, which has also since disappeared.

6   Robyn had more cute days than I did. Though she does have a longer face than me. (Why the long face Robyn?)


7   Partly because I gorged myself on WAY too many cookies. 

And yes, it’s always like this when we hang out together.

Ahhh, sweet, sweet childhood memories.