Ever feel like you read an article from a mainstream health and wellness publication only to end up feeling worse instead of better? 

It's plain impossible to keep up with the super lofty standards that we are all supposedly failing to hold ourselves up to. And these well-intentioned self-improvement articles only succeed in driving that point home, over and over again, leaving us feeling more like losers than anything else.

Hell, it's hard enough to remember to only wipe in one direction. Not to mention it's practically newsworthy if you remember to brush your teeth and hair in the same day. So, who, pray tell, actually has the freaking time to make a beautifully-layered mason jar meal featuring every diverse color of the rainbow for lunch. I barely have a moment to dry myself off after a shower before someone less than 4 feet tall demands something more pressing of me. Like I have time to calmly massage some kale in olive oil before delicately sprinkling it with pink Himalayan sea salt mined from the scrotum of Ancient Buddhist leprechauns.  

I mean, c'mon now. I'm dying for some articles that actually keep it real, such as these 13 gems:

  1. 4 Superfoods That Will Make You Feel Amazing Even If Your Mouth Looks Like A Crime Scene
  2. 5 Brain Boosting Foods That Won’t Make You Smarter Than Jessica. But Still.
  3. 3 Delicious Dips That Pair Nicely With Andy’s Drool.
  4. How To React When Jenny Tells You She’s Fallen For An Avocado
  5. 3 Ways To Control Your Irritable Bowel So You Can Finish That Bag of Doritos
  6. Sweet Potato Toast Saved My Marriage But Destroyed My Toaster
  7. 4 Natural Ways to Perfect Your Fake Smile
  8. 5 Affirmations To Make You Feel Less Ugly In That Sweater
  9. 90% of Americans Are Total Idiots. Are you One?
  10. 5 Ways to Raise Your Frequency So You Can Attract A Narcissist
  11. How To Make Natural Make-up Out of Fecal Matter. (Eyebrow Gel Anyone?)
  12. How to Create A Capsule Wardrobe Small Enough To Fit Your Tiny Personality
  13. The 1 Minute Breathing Exercise You Can Do While Taking A Giant Shit

And since pretty much nobody else is writing this stuff, I guess Imagonna have to do it myself:) Stay tuned friends...stay tuned!