You don’t have to be Irish to show your St. Patrick’s Day spirit. Aside from wearing green, one of the best ways to get in on the fun is by eating green foods.
Even kids who would normally turn their noses up at anything green, unless it’s a Skittle or an M&M, seem to love eating green food on St. Patrick’s Day.
Green eggs and ham.
Minty ice cream.
Green treats abound! What a glorious opportunity for parents everywhere. IF you know how to seize the moment.
You can either use St. Patrick’s Day as a once a year excuse to douse your children in a plethora of green hued everything.
Or you can be a mischievous little leprechaun and sneakily get your kid hooked on a food that will pay dividends all year long.
Cause let’s face it. You’re not going to cook up broccoli pancakes every damn morning of your life, or slide avocado sandwiches into your kids lunchbox day in and day out. So why not use your one-day-per-year free pass to introduce your child to a healthy green food he might actually want to eat all year long.
I repeat. THIS IS THE ONE TIME PER YEAR you can give your finicky kid a delicious green smoothie and actually have a shot in hell of him realizing how much he enjoys it. Because green smoothies are that good. Not to mention idiot proof.
Don’t miss your chance.
Just follow these 10 simple steps and you’ll soon have the luck of the Irish on your side:
1. Get out your blender. The higher powered the better. It doesn’t need to be big. Even a little Magic Bullet does the trick
2. Gather the ingredients for my green smoothie recipe. To make one serving you’ll need:
▪ 1/2 banana
▪ 1/4 cup frozen mango
▪ 1/2 cup water or milk substitute (such as soy, almond or coconut milk)
▪ 1 cup of spinach, well packed
▪ a squeeze of lime juice (optional)
3. It’s best not to have your kid around for this part. It also doesn’t hurt to have a bottle of green food coloring handy, as a decoy, in case he starts asking how on earth his drink got to be green.
4. Blend the ingredients until they are nice and smooth.
5. Serve the smoothie in a big glass and say “Here’s your giant green milkshake! I can’t believe you get a milkshake for breakfast today. Crazy fucking Irish people.” (Err, you should probably leave that last part out).
6. Stand back and watch the magic happen. Don’t get all worked up if he chugs it. It’s a green smoothie, not a pint of Guinness.
7. Loudly and slowly proclaim “Gee, it’s really too bad I can ONLY make this giant green milkshake once a year.” Really seem torn up about it. Hint: Put on your best constipated face.
8. Act really unsure when your child begs and pleads with you to have the “milkshake” again. Tell him you need to take a good hard minute to think it over. Precisely .00002 seconds later give him the good news.
9. Continue making him a green smoothie every day. Don’t forget to make extra for the whole family.
10. Eventually tell your kid what’s really in the drink. But wait ’til he’s good and hooked. When he finds out there’s spinach in it, he’ll hardly give a hoot.
Congratulations, you just played St. Patrick’s Day like an Irish fiddle!
Now you can rest easy knowing your kid’s going to be getting at least one serving of greens a day.
Oh, and don’t forget to high five your face with a green donut. Because you just sham-rocked the hell out of life.