Hello (four) loyal readers! Have you been worried sick about me these past few weeks wondering why I disappeared from the face of the Interweb?

Perhaps you reasoned that I gave into my compulsive urge to RV my way across America and was lying in a vegetative state thanks to my lead foot. Or maybe you assumed I suffered a sudden aneurysm while binge watching one too many episodes of Transparent.

Thankfully neither of those things occurred. But don’t go celebrating on my behalf yet. The reason for my sudden silencing is far, far worse.

I’ve just completed … THE HOME REMODEL FROM HELL.

When we moved into our house eleven years, there were three of us. Now that there are five of us, we found the space didn’t work quite the way we needed it to.

So we set our sights on four primary goals:

  1. Squeeze as much functionality as possible out of every room in the house
  2. Add the “fun factor” to distract the kids from remembering they don’t have much of a backyard or a basement to speak of
  3. Provide all three kids with their own room, and …
  4.  Do this all without performing any construction!

Although I jokingly call it the home remodel from hell, the truth is that it all went rather smoothly. It just took a tremendous amount of work and coordination with some very talented people to pull it all off in such a short period of time.

Here’s a peak at some of my favorite features:

What’s a mom to do when she’s tired of seeing a shitstorm of LEGOS every time she walks into the playroom? Create a gigantic LEGO wall where the kids can display their creations and store those pesky extra pieces.

Having a dedicated Dining Room when we have a perfectly good dining space in our kitchen seemed like a total waste. So we converted our Dining Room into a Ping Pong/Art Room. Now instead of having a dining table we play table tennis. The best part? We upgraded our kitchen table to a larger version so we can still entertain as frequently as before.

Wanting to make use of our high ceilings and add a dash of whimsy to the playroom, we decided to install a classic swing. But I didn’t want people to run right into it when they entered our house and, of course, it had to be safe. Our Contractor came up with an innovative pulley system that allows us to raise it all the way up where it nicely tucks under a ledge in our ceiling.


My oldest son moved into my home office and now he finally has his own bedroom. Great news for him but it meant that all my files were now displaced. We solved this by creating a custom storage bench in the Ping Pong/Art Room that’s designed to hold hanging files.

Getting kicked out of my home office also meant I needed a place to put the printer and charge all of our various computers. So we converted a portion of our pantry into a printing station and charging drawer. Then we had pullout drawers installed in the rest of the pantry to add more food storage capacity even with less space. Now I actually remember to eat while working since I sit right at the kitchen counter.

We use our garage as a front door and with absolutely no way to organize anything, we were literally tripping over each other anytime we tried to come or go. So we had a series of cubbies and shelving systems installed to help organize everything. Now each person has their own space for shoes, jackets and bags. Or, in the case of my cubby, vodka.

We finally have the house we’ve always wanted. All we have to do now is wait to see how long it takes everyone to trash it. Our (nearly) 14 year old dog is off to an impressive start. She’s already vomited seven times on the new carpeting, relieved her incontinent bladder in three large puddles on the couch and wiped her ass in one gigantic streak across my daughter’s adorable new area rug.

Home sweet home.